Peace be upon you...
Now normally I would just start this long not-so-awaited entry with the fact that it's been such a long period of time since I last posted ANYTHING at all ANYWHERE in the Internet. Had a few complications here and there, and I kindda had to miss a few interviews for my brother's sake. Doesn't matter anymore anyways... for family it's always worth it, but what matters right now or I should say what's kindda making me angry at the moment is that this so called fate is trying to play games again.
I thought that the only reason why I'm feeling like I've been dumped in hell was because I had committed a sin. I've made up my mind to leave every possible hurtful painful stressful assumptions in the past and never look back. I thought I did the right thing. I thought that if I didn't look back that there's no way I'd see it again... but no matter where I look it's always there. It's like I'm haunted to the depth of my core and I can't do anything about it. I left the bench.. this time I really did leave. I left without a trace but... it's like all I did after I left was walking in circles. Yes, I'm tired and I need a rest but the only bench I see is the last one I sat on.
Why would I want to sit on a bench that shattered me to pieces?
After school, reality really hit me hard. The long life friends that I've made ended up to be something fake trying to lure me into the darkest shadows they would call 'The Light'. The people outside my sanctuary never really were humans in the first place and always seems to believe that kindness never will exist in this cruel world. My best companions all have grudges on the only place I know to call home.
Now almost everyone looks like entertainers. I lost my umbrella on a rainy day. I lost my balloons along with my smile. I lost the old man's shoulders that never fails to put me to sleep. I'm walking aimlessly in a theme park on a very busy Sunday. No matter how much I shout... the music booms louder.
I'm scared.
I'm terrified so I reached out my hands. Anything, anything would do as long as I'm saved from this never ending Nile river but alas, I continue to drift further and further dwindling into the darkest corners of the streets.
Homeless, cold, scared and helpless.
So please. I'm hurt and alone. I've always had been. Please, won't you just stay behind that glass so I'll know that this will never be? Won't you just make the clock stay on midnight so I'll never return knowing all this lie will go away? Won't you just look the doors so I won't have a chance to save you before the last petal? Won't you just give up seeing that my castle is full of thorns? Won't you just let me turn into bubbles after you marry someone else?
Have your happy ending as you please but please if I'm just the flower girl than don't come smiling at me. I don't want to see it.
