salam....
i've got something to share with a spacial friend of mine....

Aie...

to love someone is nothing,
to be loved by someone is something...
to be loved by someone you love or care is exciting(cam 2 kot eja die...)

but....
to be loved by Allah is everything.....

it's not much but this is the answer to your question....
hope it helps....

my friend toold me today when a person asks Allah to forgive his wrong doings Allah told Jibril not to give him what he asks....

...for now....

why is that...???

because i will miss his call to me.....
asking me for forgiveness and help..... to me the tears of a sinfull muslim (or muslimah) is more precious to me then the tears of the malaaikat askins for forgivenss.....

with that i hope you don't give up on trying to change yourself couse Allah is always there for at times in need....

specialy fof Aie....