salams,
lately i've been writting an awful lot of stories, decribing the inner understanding of my unnoticed problem. it became aware to me that i'm in a bad and worsening situation but never pulled myself to seek help. until i turned 16 which to whom ever has known is a time period of a devastiating experience, the problem built up within myself and i'm no longer able to control it.
never the less, my perents are not aware of this situasion. i refuse to let them know of the dreatfull feelings i am put through and the hardship of keeping it a secret.
yes, i admmit a child who seeks help is the best situation at hand but i some how can't put myself to tell the tale. at least not to my parents. i have friends but every time i opened myself to tell they just tend to disappear like thin air. they sometimes come back but none were willing to stay.
hmm... i watched a documentary of poeple who choose to put their life to an and in their own hands. hmm.. very interesting. i was just wondering of the concequences of the condition. not that i think of myself in it.
threatening. thrilling. sigh.
nothing is good right now. my parents are away right now. not at home. feeling the urge to write but not in my books but somewhere else. i'm not worried because i know no one will read. thats why i kept it a secret. where did i learned all this...? heh... from the movie i had watched...
aku tak bodoh.
very intemidated. sigh. i have problems that i neet to solve but didn't bother to care.
sigh. signing off now.
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